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@blondediva11
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@blondediva11's most faved Tweets...
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My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.
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blondediva11
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I used to smoke after sex, but I've learned to slow down.
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God must have really wanted Saturn because he put a ring on it.
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blondediva11
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Insanity didn't run in my ex's family. It galloped.
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blondediva11
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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blondediva11
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I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.
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blondediva11
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If you shave it, he will come.
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blondediva11
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I always say, "Fuck me insideout, you fucking beast" with a British accent. That way he thinks I'm cultured and shit.
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Does this avatar make me look like I've been dead since 1962?
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blondediva11
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Wish Facebook would stop with the reunion invites. I already know what the football captain is up to. He mowed my lawn last week.
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My boyfriend is jealous of the Xmas tree because the ornaments are hung better than he is.
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blondediva11
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I have big plans for tonight. They include popcorn for dinner and dying a little on the inside.
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blondediva11
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God might work in mysterious ways, but it still doesn't explain the popularity of Crocs.
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Ever had sex so good that when you tell friends about it, they need a cigarette?
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If left to my own devices, I always hope there are enough batteries.
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I like that laziness has instant gratification.
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Depression isn't the kind of going down I was counting on.
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What we've got here is a failure to fornicate.
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When he said he wanted to take the relationship to a whole other level, I didn't realize that he just meant doing it upstairs.
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After I dated that upholsterer, he never recovered.
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