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@NotHot's (Jayne Dough) recently faved Tweets...
NotHot
What's worse than entertaining inlaws while 9 months pregnant?

Entertaining inlaws at 2 days postpartum.

And my HUSBAND has a backache.
@NotHot
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linajktrixiebootstammyphinneyBillMc7mlb_matosJeeNeeBeerongillmore
NotHot
New Kashi Crunchy Nuggets, now with more flatulence.
@NotHot
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ImAwake2OblongRobberFriedaClub
NotHot
Bloody spit up is scary, until I realize the blood came from my nipples, then it's scarier, 'cause my poor boobies are bleeding.
@NotHot
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ChiNurselinajkrongillmore
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BLOODY NIPPLES!

Not a band name.
@NotHot
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mlb_matospenblethBillMc7cravenhearttalks_in_mathskambrockjoesmithreallyrongillmore
NotHot
@mathcat345 Up and about? I'm trying to be sitting on my duff, but it only works so long. Feeling fine aside from my nipples and who-ha.
@NotHot in reply to mathcat345
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topnotchtutorrongillmore
NotHot
@chatblanc Time to start Golden Girls at episode #1.
@NotHot in reply to chatblanc
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topnotchtutor
NotHot
@Sassynic Knock knock!

Who's there?

Orange!

Orange who?

Orange you glad you're not pregnant?!
@NotHot in reply to Sassynic
4
SieraAnnElysetopnotchtutorrongillmoreLockworld
NotHot
You'd think huge breasts would be good for feeding a baby.

You'd think.

Um, I think there is a baby under this thing.
@NotHot
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rongillmorelinajkpenblethtwilarityjoesmithreallymlb_matosamynicole21bec1302topnotchtutorBillMc7FriedaClub
NotHot
@katherinecm Nope, it's our norm. Only violence has been escalating, and I can't stay awake listening for doors opening. Alarm = sleep.
@NotHot in reply to katherinecm
1
mathcat345
NotHot
You know what's fun about having a mentally ill family member?

Shopping for interior door alarms.

Whee! No surprise attacks!
@NotHot
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ImAwake2nicedreammathcat345bec1302topnotchtutorrongillmore
NotHot
This girl really likes the boobs.

Not that it's a bad thing.
@NotHot
NotHot
Contractions worth timing from noonish yesterday, water broke in the bathtub about 6pm, big baby girl born just after 10pm. We're efficient.
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NotHot
Homebirth bonus: 2 hours postpartum, and I've shaved my legs.
@NotHot
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mlb_matosavi1111CroweJampenblethSassynicblondediva11BillMc7RolandSlingerbec1302rongillmore
NotHot
My bag of water broke, and I'm leaking fluid.

FELLAS!
@NotHot
NotHot
If I were in a movie, this baby would have been born already. Seriously, can't we condense labor into one 20 minute comedy scene?
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NotHot
@blobert When her belly gets fuzzy, keep your mouth shut!
@NotHot in reply to blobert
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nannanannanannatopnotchtutorrongillmore
NotHot
@katherinecm It'll be tonight I hope. Contractions keep coming 5-7 minutes apart.
@NotHot in reply to katherinecm
2
mnikrongillmore
NotHot
I fell asleep with my contraction timer app on.

I would kill if I had a 2,275 second long contraction. The math alone would cause murder!
@NotHot
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HellatammyphinneyTrick_or_tweetsblaufusspenblethlinajkNuclear49rongillmorenanceinmypanceRolandSlingerbec1302
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@Alter_ed Even so, WTF is thaaaaaaat still works.
@NotHot in reply to Alter_ed
2
Alter_edRolandSlinger
NotHot
I'm all excited to tell my husband that I'm losing my mucus plug, but my parents are here, so I texted him.
@NotHot
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ChiNurseCampNicoleblobertnicedreamtalkngpineappleNuclear49sblaufusslinajkrongillmorepenblethJeeNeeBeek2bfbedheadblondebec1302
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