@EightBitsShort's (S Dub) recently faved Tweets...
I miss Mr. Rogers. He would've been 82 today. He was WONDERFUL.
Favorite clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXEuEUQIP3Q
Favorite clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXEuEUQIP3Q
2
"I hate it when you go off on tangents!"
"I hate it when YOU go off on cosines!"
Irreconcilable trigonometry can kill a relationship.
"I hate it when YOU go off on cosines!"
Irreconcilable trigonometry can kill a relationship.
Working the weekend.
Missing SXSW.
Picking kitty litter out of an injured cat's bandages.
Livin' the dream.
Missing SXSW.
Picking kitty litter out of an injured cat's bandages.
Livin' the dream.
"Tell us how you FEEL about Oprah."
"Well, I wouldn't kick her out of bed."
This focus group just got interesting.
"Well, I wouldn't kick her out of bed."
This focus group just got interesting.
"I'll fix your cat's leg for $999."
"How much to just cut it off?"
"WHAT? NO! I'll fix it for $99."
Why I've invited the vet to poker night.
"How much to just cut it off?"
"WHAT? NO! I'll fix it for $99."
Why I've invited the vet to poker night.
"I'm trying to watch the Oscars, but SOMEBODY has locked out ABC!"
"IT WASN'T ME!" [feigns indignity]
Another Oscar-worthy performance.
"IT WASN'T ME!" [feigns indignity]
Another Oscar-worthy performance.
12
Often, my ADD gets the best of me. But I find that if I concentrate, I can WHAT THE HELL IS THAT CAT'S PROBLEM, ANYWAY?
NEIGHBOR'S PONY + WAFFLE CONE + GLUE GUN = INSTANT UNICORN!
But now the neighbor is upset.
Probably because he didn't think of it first.
But now the neighbor is upset.
Probably because he didn't think of it first.
I always put on my Spock ears before asking a woman out.
If she turns me down, I know she's a racist.
Anyway, LOTS of racists in THIS town.
If she turns me down, I know she's a racist.
Anyway, LOTS of racists in THIS town.
"My high school didn't have nerds. Not even in my calculus & physics classes."
Boys & girls, can you say, "glorious lack of self awareness?"
Boys & girls, can you say, "glorious lack of self awareness?"
14
After weeks of drug test induced withdrawal, I'd imagine that by now, most of those snowboarding medals have been fashioned into bongs.
"A vote for me is a vote against kitty porn."
Either he can't enunciate, or he wants my cat to wear pants.
Either way, he's got MY vote.
Either he can't enunciate, or he wants my cat to wear pants.
Either way, he's got MY vote.
15
I do not like e-mails with spam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
To you, am I some hapless loner,
who needs a pill to get a boner?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
To you, am I some hapless loner,
who needs a pill to get a boner?
Oh, Canada.
That was AMAZING!
Thank you for being such a gracious host, & for shining on the world stage.
The world is grateful.
Well done.
That was AMAZING!
Thank you for being such a gracious host, & for shining on the world stage.
The world is grateful.
Well done.
"You get the squirrel's attention, & I'll surprise him with my 3-wood."
NEVER play golf with guys named Mudflap.
NEVER play golf with guys named Mudflap.
Tonya Harding. Probably the reason I can't watch figure skating without speculating about who'll end up boxing topless on pay-per-view.
He went to the kitchen, took out his banjo, & waited for her.
This time, he thought, things will be different.
This time, Dinah will laugh.
This time, he thought, things will be different.
This time, Dinah will laugh.
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