@DieLaughing's (J. Adam Moore) most faved Tweets...
I saw a car hit this parked car in front of me and drive away, so I put a note on the parked car saying 'God hates you.'
Okay, the movie is starting and everyone is screaming at some asshole using a bright iPhone. I will let you know when I find out who it is.
I recorded my baby crying so I can play it back to him while he tries to sleep to see how he likes it.
I accidentally hit a bunch of kids dressed as zombies with my car. The second time was just to be safe.
I wonder how many 'suicide bombers' were just uncontrollably accelerating toward an Iraqi checkpoint in a Toyota.
Now the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations are legally a person with rights, there are a lot of rape charges I'm filing against them.
I won't be convinced Obama was born an American until he rapes an Indian, kills a foreigner, and gains like 150 lbs over a healthy weight.
I haven't decided on a baby name, but I do know that it will be at least 8 characters long with at least 2 numbers and 1 special character.
I have a reoccurring nightmare that I am startled by bank robbers who shout "EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" and I get shot in the face for dancing.
My pregnant girlfriend asked me if I wanted to see something no one would believe. I say yes and then she punches herself right in the eye.
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